I remember when my mom first told me that couples who travel together stay together, and opposite is also true; couples who don’t travel together are asking for relationship troubles. She said this when one of my aunt and uncles started taking trips apart from each other, and didn’t arrange their schedules to travel together. Sure enough, about 2 years later they were both divorced and in different relationships.
Ironically enough, it was only about 4 more years after that when my own parents stopped traveling together. I tried to tell them what inevitably was going to happen, but they both continued to travel independently. About 1 year later they, too, ending up splitting up.Why is there such a strong connotation between couples who stay together and couples who travel together? Enough so to almost guarantee that when a couple stops traveling together, their relationship starts to unravel.
From what I’ve experienced in my own marriage, there are many reasons why traveling couples stay committed to each other. I’ve learned enough from watching other relationships fall apart while watching my own relationship with my hubby grow stronger and fuller after years of travel. No matter what has come our way, from unexpected and wonderful pregnancies to career changes and loss to broke to rich to broke again financial status, my hubby and I continue to travel together and walk together through it all as travelers.
I know that because of this, we will last, as will most couples who travel together. Why? Here are the answers:
Traveling changes you. Your perspective on life is broadened, your thoughts are challenged, and you see the world differently. You begin to connect the dots, realize both how big and small the world is, and grow as a person.When , they grow together. They get to witness first hand what is changing their spouse, which leads to better understanding of the other person. Nobody stays the person they were at whatever age they were when they were married. Look back 10 years into a relationship to the beginning and you’ll laugh and cringe and be slightly wistful for the people you used to be. But when you can grow together, you’ll still be the kind of people that chooses each other over the rest.
Those who travel, and who love to travel, love and live through the worst because they learn to appreciate the comical side and put a bright face on. They learn to laugh at the fact that they are lost in a strange city without their wallet, rather than caste blame or lash out in stress. When couples can laugh at those kind of situations together, they can also laugh at the silver lining when other things in life get tough.
What is the first step of finding a good date? Common interests and experiences. The same is true in relationships. The more you enjoy doing things together, the more you enjoy spending time with that person. There is nothing quite so wonderful as glancing up at my hubby and seeing him catching my eye as well because we are both thinking back to the same inside joke in the middle of a conversation at a dinner party. We wouldn’t have that connection if we didn’t have the history of experiencing that moment together.
Nobody is perfect, and traveling makes that abhorrently obvious. My hubby is notorious for losing things, like his card and driver’s license while in a foreign country. I am horrible at remaining patient in all circumstances, including long lines in airports. But, guess what? Every time one of us loses the debit card or starts unleashing while being asked to wait patiently, we forgive the other person. We also naturally forgive each other in other areas of life as well.
Traveling quickly teaches you that life is short, and there are so many other wonderful things to do besides being mad at the other person. Plus, it also teaches you that change is a slow, gradual process. I’m not expecting Matt to stop losing his crap all over the planet, and I adjust for it rather than get angry at it. He’s been that way since forever and it doesn’t look like that’s changing anytime soon.
Traveling really does make you less materialistic. When you’re not so focused on material accumulation, i.e. the perfect house, white picket fence, brand new car, etc. both people in the relationship feel much less pressure to bring home the bacon and work like crazy in order to maintain a lifestyle appearance. I am a work at home mom, and I make a lot LOT less than my awesome talented hubby. But, he never feels pressured to work like crazy or keep slaving away in order to keep me in the lap of luxury. Likewise, I don’t constantly pressure him to work harder, longer, make more, etc. because I’m happy with what we have, which is an old beat up car and lots of good road trip stories.
Travel doesn’t happen by accident. You have to want it and actively seek it to make it happen. It is all too easy for most of the people in this world to slink back into the comfort of the known, and to make travel themed Pinterest boards without ever actually taking the guts to book a one way ticket out of their town.When couples travel together, that means both of you have to be sacrificing, planning, and budgeting together for one common vision or goal. You learn to see things together, to work together, and to achieve together. When you share the same vision in your lives, it will be easier to do things like budgeting or choosing where to live or what car to buy because you’ll both share the same priorities for your time and money.
When you share common goals, you become team players together. It’s an “” mentality, and it brings you closer to your partner than ever. When you’re a team, you’ve got each other’s backs. You’re always routing for each other, rather than bringing the other person down. When you travel a lot together, you learn to stick by each other’s side, be on the lookout for the other person, and work together in a variety of situations. Traveling as a couple is basically the best real live version of those lame group projects every teacher made you do since elementary school.
When you’re traveling as a couple, there isn’t much that is sacred. You both share the same bags, the same cramped airplane seats, the same train compartment, and the same tiny, leaky tent. You both learn in those moments jammed together in the back of the bus hurtling down the South American cliffside how to give each other space, and be alone while apart. Since you’re constantly together, you both learn how to find ways to tune out and get time alone without being apart. You learn how to be respectful and happy together while giving the other person their alone time.
Define your best friend. Your best friend is someone who stands by you no matter what, or someone who accepts you just as you are, or someone who you enjoy spending time with and likes the same things you do. All of these elements, and just about every other element of a good friendship, is cultivated while traveling. Travel as a couple, and you’re guaranteeing that your other half will become and stay your best friend.
Traveling allows for everyone to see the best- and worst- of your . This is true for your significant other as well. Couples who travel together see the best traits of each other, and the true dirty secrets and annoying habits of each other as well. They really know each other and accept each other’s entire personality.
It’s inevitable in any planning stage of life that disagreements will arise. That’s why most marriage counselors advise against tackling things like building a house until couples have been married for at least a year or two; the longer and stronger a relationship is, the more likely it is to be able to weather periods of disagreement.Couples who travel together know how to compromise and make decisions together. They know how to give and take along the way. If it is impossible to see and do everything on a trip, they know how to talk about their desires and reach a decision together. It may not be a seamless process, but they realize that the person and the trip is more important than their agenda.
Numerous studies have been released that show people who focus on accumulating experiences rather than stuff are happier and much more joyful. The same is true for relationships as well. The memories of events in your life shared together give much longer lasting happiness than objects. My hubby and I are much happier remembering our 1st anniversary in Canada together rather than any physical object we would have received or given to commemorate the occasion.
The unexpected parts of travel are the ones that should always be expected. Things happen; car keys get lost, flights get canceled, and hostel rooms get double booked. When you travel together, you both get a mindset of just rolling with life’s punches rather than reacting negatively. You learn to deal with issues rather than freaking out about them. Real life problems like an unpaid bill you didn’t know about seem a lot less stressful after you’ve both tried to deal with a canceled flight in the middle of the night in a South American airport and neither one of you speaks Spanish. If you can figure that out, what else can’t you do together?
Couples who travel together learn how and what the other person needs, as well as what they themselves needs. They learn who needs more time apart, and who needs to be held a little bit longer. The revealing nature of travel buddies and the constant companionship force each person to learn how to relate better to the other person and what they need to feel affirmed in the relationship too. One may need to sleep in, while the other is a night owl. One may need more alone time, while the other needs to more hugs and kisses to feel loved. When you spend so much time in a day together while traveling, without the distraction of jobs and daily schedules and life, you have time to really learn how to love each other well, and respect the other person’s needs.
Romance goes outside of the bedroom, too, but even in the bedroom, couples who travel together statistically are much more romantic with each other. Couples who travel together are 13% more likely to say that their relationship still has romance, and nearly 30% of couples who start traveling together experience an increase in their sexual romance as well.Travel also makes you realize the romance in every situation, whether you’re getting blisters on your feet from hiking and your significant other carries you to a dry spot, or you are surprised by a romantic dinner overlooking the ocean. Both can have just as much romance, and when you travel together, you appreciate and see the romance in everyday situations just as much as the big occasions.
Instead of being concerned and filled with worry about the future, traveling really helps couples to appreciate the here and now. They stay in the moment rather than being consumed with doubt and insecurities about the future. Couples who appreciate where they are at rather than focusing just on the future don’t miss out on enjoyment in the present, which creates a much healthier and happier environment for their relationship.
Traveling has an amazing way of bringing new friends from all over the globe into your life. When you travel together, you make friends as a couple. Instead of having his and her friends, you have friends that you truly enjoy together. Bonding with these friends helps you to bond with each other as well. I love watching my hubby interact with new friends we meet; it helps me appreciate him and see him in new, fresh eyes every time we travel somewhere.
During moments of weakness, the other is strong. It’s easy to hide at home in comfort, but when you rush into new adventures and the great unknown, it is inevitable you will run into things that challenge you. When you travel with your significant other, you have each other to hold up the other person. When you feel tired and achy after sleeping underneath the florescent lighting of an airport all night, you have a mate ready to bring you some coffee and cheer you up. When they are about to give up hope of ever finding their way to the boat in time, you’re there to encourage them and keep moving on. When you can both take turns pitching in to keep going, there is no limit to what can’t be done together.
There is no such thing as ordinary when you travel. Each and every day is a gift, and full of new adventures to be had, stories to be made, and life to be experienced. When you travel together as a couple, you do not fall into a rut of mundane life. You see and experience new things together, which keeps your relationship new and fresh as well.
The more you travel, the more you see just how many people there are out there in this world. You get to interact and be a part of cultures and lifestyles you never knew existed. When couples travel together, they choose each other every single day over what the rest of the world has to offer. They remain faithful to each other no matter what backdrop or situation arises.
My hubby knows I’m not the only blonde woman out there, and I’ve seen guys a lot taller than he is. But who cares? We know each other, and choose each other over everyone else every single day. Because who else would gallivant around the world with me, know me in and out, support me every day, and still want to have sleep next to me after living in a tent for a week straight without a shower? I know everything about my hubby inside and out, and the more I see of this world the more grateful I am to have married my best friend and traveling companion for life.
Want to make sure your relationship lasts? Travel together! Head over to Trekeffect to plan your next trip with your significant other- there are 20 good reasons why you should.
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